Thursday, 2 November 2017

Quotations invited from pre-qualified parties

Beyond Satire

(The article was published on November 02. In the third week of November, Harding finalised the contract with Congress.)


Hardik Patel with leaders of pre-qualified parties


                                           With Rahul Gandhi



With Praful Patel

  
                                              With Raj Thackeray 



                                        With Arvind Kejriwal


Notice for a limited circulation

Quotations are invited in sealed covers from the pre-qualified parties for a joint venture to be launched shortly in Gujarat. Gujarat has been chosen because our researchers have found that at the moment the environment for doing business of politics is quite favourable there. This year Gujarat has jumped several notches into the top 30 rankings on our Researchers’ 'ease of doing business of politics' index, thanks to the widespread dissatisfaction we have created among different sections of the society.

In the interest of transparency, it must be clarified that total agreement on all the social, economic and political views has not been the criterion for pre-qualification. The criteria are financial and political capability of making foothold in the state and acceptance of the value of our supreme leader, Shri Hardik Patel. By now, everybody knows that our supreme leader sacrificed his running business to create awareness among his community members, who have been doing business for centuries, that now government service is a better option for making money. It is the duty of Prime Minister Narendra Modi who is also from Gujarat and the State Chief Minister to provide jobs to all our community members. If Narendra Modi feels that trade, commerce and industry are better options and the ‘ease of doing business’ has improved, he should vacate the chair of the Prime Minister and become a businessman. There are many leaders waiting for Modi’s sacrifice.

The application forms are available at our party office and will be issued only to the authorised representatives of the pre-qualified parties. The application duly filled in must be submitted along with Rs. …… cr. (to be disclosed personally), as security money, within 15 days from the issue of this notice. 50% of the security money will be forfeited if the party is not selected for the joint venture.

The sealed tenders will be opened personally by our supreme leader at a place of his choice. Thereafter, he will invite each tenderer for one-to-one meeting in midnight at a mutually agreed venue. To maintain secrecy and to guarantee security of the leaders, will be ensured that no CCTV functions in that area. The terms and conditions are negotiable. After discussions with all the tenderers, our supreme leader will decide the winner with whom the joint venture agreement will be signed.

The agreement will be signed in a midnight at a mutually agreed venue where no outsider will have access and were no CCTV is functional. Our supreme leader does not want another video to go viral on the social media.

Hardik Patel caught on CCTV coming out after meeting with Rahul Gandhi


 The selected party must keep a big briefcase ready with “undergarments”. (In case anyone accidentally sees the briefcase and enquires about its contents, our leader must have an acceptable explanation.)

Needless to say that the joint venture is for mutual benefit, to end Modi-raj. Since our leader may be in great demand after the success of the joint venture in December 2017, the contract for the present joint venture will automatically lapse after the results of the Gujarat election are announced. Fresh quotations for joint ventures in future may be invited in due course.

The last date for submitting the quotations is November 15, 2017.


Sd/-

(Authorised signatory of the “Patidar Anamat Andolan Samiti”)

November 2, 2017


PS.


A serous satire, not a humour,  on Hardik Ptael's politics, Hardik Patel who left his family business to join business of politics and in doing so degraded politics and is determined to ruin Gujarat. I hope, people of Gujarat will teach him a lesson that not only he but all those who have degraded politics will never forget.